Questions to Ask a Prospective Therapist

Looking for a good psychotherapist can feel like a big hassle. The impulse to just go with the first person you meet and avoid having to look any further can be strong, but unless you find someone right off the bat who feels like the perfect fit, it’s best to do some shopping. For a …

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Taking Action Against Your Therapist — Whatever Your Feelings Are

A while back, I received an email from a survivor of therapist sexual abuse. She and I had been in touch, and she was struggling with her feelings about her former therapist and about taking legal action against him. She wrote: The conflicting feelings that I have come and go on a regular basis. One day I am …

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Sex with the Therapist – The Need to Feel Whole

In my last post I wrote about what it was like to have sex with Dr. T. (A truly delightful subject!) Our sexual involvement spanned four and a half years and had a profound impact on me emotionally, physically, even spiritually. As much as I’d convinced myself that I was doing it for him, the …

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Why We Stay: How Childhood Loss, Abandonment and Neglect Can Make It Hard to Leave an Abusive Therapist

There is one question victims of therapist abuse dread perhaps more than any other: “Why didn’t you just leave?” Of course, this question isn’t specific to victims of therapist abuse; it’s asked of anyone who’s spent a significant amount of time in an abusive relationship. I think we’re all guilty of at least thinking the …

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Silence Is Not the Answer

Recently I came across an article about Sogyal Rinpoche, the renowned Tibetan Buddhist teacher and author of the classic The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. The article, published on the website Dialogue Ireland, dealt with Sogyal’s alleged sexual misconduct with students and devotees and some of the media responses to the stories of abuse. …

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7 Tips for Therapist Abuse Victims Considering Legal Action

I want to offer some tips and suggestions for any victims of therapist abuse and exploitation who may be considering taking legal action. While I would encourage anyone who has been victimized by a therapist (or other professional) to consider taking legal action, I want to be clear that it is not an easy thing …

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Don’t Call It Consent: Being Groomed for Sex

Consent requires that a person have all the necessary information to make a decision and the power to choose and have that choice respected by others. The possibility of authentic consent rests upon equality of power in a relationship. Consent should never be confused with submitting, going along, or acquiescing. ~ Marie M. Fortune SEXUAL …

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But I Don’t Want to Be a Victim…

Like every victim of therapist abuse, I have wondered whether I was in some way responsible for what happened. Even after almost four years of recovery work and having at least five therapists tell me that this was not my fault, I still have my occasional doubts. I do now understand that I showed up …

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Does Anyone Really Want to Know about Therapist Abuse? (Part 2)

Only once, as I recall, did I come right out and ask someone why they had never asked me anything about my situation. As it turned out, it was a big mistake. Both of us, I think, left the conversation feeling really bad. I never dared ask the question again. Here are a few attitudes …

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Does Anyone Really Want to Know about Therapist Abuse? (Part 1)

When I dropped the bomb and began telling people what had happened with my ex-therapist, it seemed like a lot of them didn’t really want to know too much about it. At least, that was my perception. At the time, I was in the midst of full-blown PTSD; I was traumatized, anxious, worried about whether …

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