Sex with the Therapist – The Need to Feel Whole

In my last post I wrote about what it was like to have sex with Dr. T. (A truly delightful subject!) Our sexual involvement spanned four and a half years and had a profound impact on me emotionally, physically, even spiritually. As much as I’d convinced myself that I was doing it for him, the …

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Sex with the Therapist — My Experience

I’m currently in the process of revising the version of My Story (about my experience with Dr. T) that’s published on the site. I’ve been meaning to do this for a while (and have been putting it off for just as long), but I finally decided to dig in and get it over with. The …

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The Dream (Coping with Terror and Anxiety)

This morning I woke up from an intense dream that I’m sure was about the abuse. I’d been with friends, family and a lover, sightseeing on an out-of-town day trip. I’d gone off on my own for a bit and returned to find they had all left, each probably assuming I was in someone else’s …

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Naked

I think a lot of us keep secrets about things that we did, seemingly of our own volition—things that cause us to wonder, later, whether the abuse was our fault, even though we know better. When we think of what we did we feel guilty and ashamed. We don’t dare say anything to anyone, lest …

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Taking Action Against the Abuser – Emotions and Inner Conflict

When I talk to female survivors of therapist abuse who are considering filing a civil lawsuit or licensing complaint (or who are in the early stages of such actions), I often hear them express the same kinds of emotions and inner conflicts that I experienced. They usually start off by saying, “I know this sounds …

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The Untouchable

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in the office of my most recent therapist. (Oh, yes. Due to circumstances mostly beyond my control—and believe me, I have tried my darnedest to control my circumstances—I am once again between therapists, in a somewhat desperate search for yet another. I do rather feel like I’m …

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Not So Comfortable with Uncertainty

This past Thursday I did something for myself I’ve been meaning to do for a long time: I went to a Mindfulness Meditation group. Lately, I’ve been wanting to develop more of a meditation practice. I know about all the reputed benefits of meditation and I have no doubt that it would be good for …

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