1. Are elongated hugs appropriate for therapy ? My therapist asked me for a hug and it was along hug he rubbed my back to but never went down to my waist. I could hear his heart beat which was rapid.

    • Hi Jessica,

      First, let me clarify something here. Your therapist asked you for a hug? That’s definitely inappropriate! The therapist should not be asking the client for a hug, because that’s about the therapist’s needs, not the client’s. That’s a clear boundary violation. And even if you did request a hug, a male therapist giving a female client a long hug is not appropriate, in my opinion. (If anyone out there disagrees, feel free to comment.)

      If you feel comfortable calling him on this, then do so. This is the kind of thing that can change the tone of therapy and lead down a very slippery slope. If he is unable to hold good therapeutic boundaries, then you’ll need to find a different therapist.

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